Hoping for Happiness
by PoshHaven
Summary: What would happen if Bella never jumped off the cliff? Chapters in different perspectives.
1. Chapter One: Considerations

Chapter One:

Considerations

POV: Edward

Staying away from Bella has absolutely tested the strength of my will power. I've never gone through such a horrifying feeling in my existence. My days consisted of sitting in the dark of my apartment, going hunting every few days, then back to the dark. I was merely surviving.

My family would call every now and again. Seeing how I was, and every time I said, "I'm alive. So, I suppose that's doing well." Jasper called frequently. I could tell how devastated he was about this whole situation, and I constantly tried to explain to him that this was inevitable. Instead, he tortured himself thinking my mistake was his. Esme called the most. It broke my heart to hear how shattered hers was. I separated her family. The reason I left was to not be so selfish and let Bella live a happy, healthy life. But I was now only being selfish to my family. Once again, caught in a no-win situation.

It stung to think of Bella. Thought that's what kept me alive so-to-speak. The thought that she was still out there, probably living the happiest life possible. She was going to graduate soon, go to college, get married…

That was exceptionally difficult to come to terms with.

My happiness meant nothing to me anymore, so long as she was happy. I _want_ her to get married, have children, live a long, happy life. Even if it was with that Newton kid. I hoped it would be with anyone but him.

Her face frequently haunted my memory. Dark, brown eyes pierced my thoughts constantly.

Then, as I lay in the bed thinking about her and her new life, I thought perhaps a visit wouldn't disrupt anything. Of course I wouldn't let her, or anyone, know I was there. It had been months and I was reaching the brink of my sanity. If I could just see her again…knowing she's happy.

I called Carlisle. He was surprised to hear from me. I never called anyone anymore, they only called me. I asked him if he thought it would be a bad idea for me to see her again, if it would only make things worse. "Edward, that all depends. If you think you could handle seeing her without saying anything to her, or touching her…if you could go back, then I think it wouldn't be harmful. Though, you know how I feel. I think that you should go…and stay. You would make things a lot easier on your family, and yourself. And although you don't agree, I think the same for Bella."

"I doubt it." I whispered, knowing he could hear me. "Well, thank you Carlisle. I appreciate your help. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you and Esme…everyone. I'm truly, deeply sorry, but I just believe this is what's best."

"I know you do. Perhaps, if you don't take my advice, a visit to Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and Esme and myself once and a while would be ample amends." His tone was pleading, yet serious. "I'll consider it." I hated how cold I was to my father figure. "Please do. Goodbye Edward." And then he hung up. That was one of the coldest, lifeless conversations I've ever had with him. One more thing to tack on to the "Reasons I Wish I Could Die" List.


	2. Chapter Two: Decision

Chapter Two

Decision

POV: Bella

I needed that part of my brain that had gone insane. I felt like it was the only thing keeping me sane. Which really made no sense. Nothing did anymore. Why-after things were so perfect- would Edward leave? He told me he loved me...

So, in order to keep myself sane, here I was about to jump to my death. Just to hear his voice. I didn't really care if I lived or died anymore. What did I live for anymore? Five days a week in a school filled with people I didn't care about? No, there was nothing. That had become the majority of the way I spent my time.

I began to inch towards the edge of the cliff.

And then I heard it. The soft velvet voice that had been keeping me alive, yet almost killing me every time I heard it. I knew it was only in my head, but I couldn't resist the voice. _Bella, you're going to hurt yourself, stop._ I smiled. I wanted to talk back, but I convinced myself I wasn't crazy enough…yet. I tested the voice's patience by dangling my leg over the side. _Bella! Don't do something stupid, get back!_ He was getting angry. Then, quiet. _Bella, you have so much to live for. Jacob, Renée, Charlie…you love them._

It was then that I backed away from the cliff. I didn't want to put my parents or Jacob in the situation I was in. Left behind by someone you love. I got into my truck and headed home. I was satisfied because I heard his voice without actually jumping off the cliff. I didn't want to either. The water looked so cold and menacing.

When I got home, Charlie tried to force a conversation between us durring a comericial from his baseball game. But I was in no mood for small talk. I told him that I was tired and still had some homework to do.

I jumped in the shower and dragged it out longer than usual, though I was eager to get to bed.

When I got out, I grabbed some sweats and went to bed. I lied there thinking about Edward. What he sounded and looked like. I knew my memory did him no justice. Minutes later, I drifted into the best sleep I've had in months.

But I dreamt.

He was there in my room, watching me sleep. Just like he used to. I got up, out of my bed as fast as I could manage without falling to try and grab him, to touch him before he left because I knew he would. But, the effort was in vain, because by the time I got out of my covers, he was gone...again.

I woke up feeling refreshed. But, my mind circled around that dream. Did it mean anything? Was it a premonition telling me I would see him again, even if it was only for a moment? Or was it just my unconscious way of coping? I decided it was a premontition, that was my _conscious _way of coping. I thought if I believed it long enough, it might just end up being true.

I thought with all of this reminiscing, would come pain. But, to my surprise, I was exceptionally happy. Well, happy as I could be without Edward. With this in mind, and a Saturday all to myself, I decided- despite what happened last time- I would take another trip to our meadow.

PLEASE NOTE: Edward has not visited her yet. This is just her head, not actually Edward. It seems there was some confusion on this detail.


	3. Chapter Three: Waiting

Chapter Three:

Waiting

POV: Edward

I began throwing anything I could find into my small backpack. It didn't matter what I was wearing or whether it was clean. I was going to see her. The reason I'm still alive. I couldn't get out of my hotel room any faster. The room was spinning but my thoughts were clear. Though circled around her, they were clear.

When the finial article of clothing was in the backpack, I slammed it shut, locked it and ran out the door. I took the stairs down to the lobby knowing it would be faster than the elevator. When I came down to the front desk, the small, dainty, receptionist-talking on the phone-quickly hung up and greeted me with a smile. "Checking out Sir?"

"Yes, I was in room 128." She looked like she was dreaming. I focused into her thoughts to see why she was taking so long. _Oh my God, how did I not notice him before? I can't believe he's leaving, would it be weird to ask him out?_ I gave her a look pleading her to hurry. Suddenly, she came out of her reverie. "Ah…right. Okay, well you're all paid for, you paid last night correct?"  
"Yes." My patience was running short. "Okay then, well you're all set Mr. Cullen." Before her thoughts could start revolving about how to ask me out, I went as quickly as "humanly" possible out the door.

I walked out the revolving door and looked around. Twilight. The conditions were more than ideal. I pulled out the map, glanced at it, started towards the woods at a human pace. When I reached the forrest, I ran.

***

The scenery was nothing but a green and brown haze for what seemed liked hours. But when it changed to nothing but green, I knew I was close. Never before did I think these green mossy forrests would feel like heaven. I stopped, only for a moment to take it in. I knew it would be a while till I could come back. I started running again, heading towards Bella's house. He face was -as always- forefront in my mind. Then, I was there. Staring at her house from a distance. The urge to run in, grab Bella and kiss her like I've never kissed her before was overwhelming. At that moment I felt a surge of regret. I shouldn't have come. I knew I'd never be able to handle this. I haven't even seen her yet and I'm about to fall to my knees in pain. At that moment, in a futile effort to clear my head, I decided to head to the meadow till morning.

My memory didn't do the meadow justice. Even at night it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. That says something considering everything I've seen.

I layed there all night, listening to the trickling of the waterfall. These are the times I wish I could sleep, if only for a few hours to escape the nightmare that is my life. When dawn broke and my skin started to glimmer, I gazed at my arm hating what I was. If only I was born later. I would never have been sick, never been changed and I wouldn't be dealing with this. My worst fear is that Bella is as miserable as me. I can only hope she has moved on with her life. Before I could miss seeing her, I ran to her house again.

I wasn't sure how to go about not being seen. When I got there, I was early enough that the cruiser was still in the driveway...along with that red truck. I wish she was in something safer...

I figured the best place for me to be was on the roof. No one would notice me there. I hopped up there in a single bound, sat, and waited. I would wait all day if I had to.


	4. Chapter Four: Thoughts

Chapter Four:

Thoughts

POV: Bella

I walked down the stairs completely refreshed from last night. I didn't realize how early it was till I saw Charlie strapping his gun belt on. "Bella, you're up early."

"Yeah…wow. I guess I slept really well last night."

"Good." Charlie put his hands on his waist and looked around. I could tell he was uncomfortable. "Well, I'm going to the station. Then Billy and I might hang out. So you and Jacob can come here if you'd like."

"Actually, I think I'm going to spend the day alone. Maybe take a walk." Charlie shot me a glance of confusion and suspicion. I didn't even want to walk to my truck in the morning. He knew me all too well. "Well…okay. Call if you need anything." And he was out the door. At that exact moment I heard a very light clatter on the roof. Curious to see what it was, I walked outside and looked up, but nothing was there. Great. Now I'm hearing things.

Eager for a nice breakfast-something I haven't had in quite some time-I walked back in and pulled out some eggs, a frying pan, and a utensil. When I finished my eggs, I went upstairs, pulled on some old pair of jeans (ones I didn't mind ruining, keeping in mind how much I know I would fall) and a t-shirt. I grabbed my keys, and the map Jacob and I had made. I had just opened the door to get outside when I heard to phone ring. Groaning, I walked over to it and pick it up. "Hello."

"Hey Bella! You feel like cliff diving today?"

"Oh hey Jacob. I don't think today is going to work, I'm taking some…me time." The words sounded as awkward as I felt saying them. "Oh. Umm…okay." Another one who knew me too well. I never wanted me time. Not since...

"Well, I hope you enjoy your "me time"." Ah, a hint of sarcasm. It actually felt nice for a change. "Thank you, I will." I laughed and hung up.

When I got in the cab of my truck, it was surprisingly cold. Perhaps it was the fact I was about to go our meadow again or the abnormal coldness of the seat, but something triggered in my brain making me smell that same amazing smell Edward had. I felt a surge of pain. But I wanted to keep the smell in my head for as long as I could. I though I had forgotten what he smelled like, but this was so vivid. Perhaps I blocked it out. But now it was back. I was content the whole way there.

I was beginning to think this was a bad idea. I had been walking for three hours and I wasn't sure how close I was. My jeans had countless stains and rips, my hands were scraped, and I had multiple bruises. I tried my best to follow the map, and thought I was failing, until I finally reached the clearing. I looked around smiling. I could hear the trickle of the water. It was almost like heaven. It was only missing one thing…

I walked over to the middle of the clearing and laid down. It was the most relaxing thing I could imagine. I sat closing my eyes just thinking about Edward. It felt like he was glued to the back of my eyelids, because whenever I closed my eyes, I saw him. His messy bronze hair, his golden eyes smoldering, as if they were looking into my soul. I would take the worst qualities of Edward everyday, just to have him again. Of course he always annoyed me with his constant concern for my safety, (not that it was misplaced) but I would take him nagging me constantly just to see him again. I smiled.

Edward, to me, was perfect in everyway. The way he kissed me, the way he would rub his lips against my collar bone, sending me shivers. They way he brushed my hair back whenever it got in my face. All I could do was smile. I then realized I have been wasting all my time grieving over him, when I could have been celebrating what I had. Despite my sudden positive attitude, that past tense of that last though disturbed me.

I began thinking of the first time I saw him. First, I was completely dumb founded by his beauty, then confused by his cruelty towards me, then angry, then completely and utterly in love. Hmm…life is funny that way. Looking back on it all, it all seemed really funny. There I was thinking he hated me for no reason at all. But as it turned out, from the moment he laid eyes on me (or smelled me, I suppose) he was trying to protect me. Even now, when he left me, he was trying to protect me. Ha! Jokes' on him. He is the one putting me in these dangerous situations. But unfortunately, that still didn't bring him back.

After what seemed like hours of just sitting there thinking of him, I sat up and took one last look. But out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw something moving rapidly. Too rapid to be an animal. Quite honestly, it looked just like a blur. Then, realizing, I froze. It was Victoria. Laurent was right. This was it. The end.

For a brief moment things became clear. The clatter on the roof, and now the movement, I could not only see but feel. I took one last look at our meadow, and just sat there. Waiting to die.


	5. Chapter Five: Confronting

Chapter Five:  
Confronting  
POV: Edward

After a couple of hours sitting on her rooftop, remembering every inch of her and our time together, I suddenly heard a small patter coming down the stairs. Seeing as Charlie had been awake since 6:30 I knew it was Bella. Charlie's thoughts confirmed this. Bella didn't know how lucky she was to have him as a father. He never expressed it, but I could hear in his thoughts just how immense his love for her was. For some reason her feared losing her. I heard their conversation. Charlie had once again felt awkward and left early for work. Lost in my thoughts, I realized too late that Charlie was outside. I made a swift bound to the other side of the roof out of sight. I had made too much noise. Bella was sure to hear it. I saw her frantically open the front door and look around. It took everything inside of meto not jump down and reveal myself. To hold her and tell her how much I love and miss her. TO just explain how miserable I've been without her. The whole time I was away I truly felt as if I were among the dead. But for her happiness, I had to stay put. She walked back inside. Bella began making a large breakfast. I was beginning to wonder if she was planning on ever leaving today. I would wait if I had to. But I needed some way to pass the time. I jumped off the roof and went into her truck cab. I quickly opened the door and hopped in the driver's seat. I held the steering wheel thinking back to when I would drive her home. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something. A small black book with the title "Forks High School Yearbook" with a small gold inscription that read "Angela Webber". Although I was angry, I couldn't help but smile. I thought I had gotten rid of every trace of myself, but she outsmarted me. I opened it up to find a bookmark on the junior class – under the "C's".

"Cullen, Edward; Cullen, Alice"

Two names right next to each other, along with two photographs. My heart felt as if it were going to rip in two. She had clearly not moved on. I flipped to the senior section to find Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. I missed them…a lot. I hate what I did to my family. Suddenly, a loud ringing broke my reverie. Someone was calling. Bella answered the phone. I groaned. It was that kid that had a crush on Bella. I wondered why he was even calling. Maybe he was looking for Charlie. Then I heard Bella tell him she wanted to have some "me time". Did he want to hang out with Bella? Had they become friends? I wanted to hit myself for the feeling of jealousy that washed over me. I decided I should get out of the truck. I had no idea when she was coming out. I dashed to the roof. A few minutes later Bella walked out. The sight of her almost stopped my heart…figuratively speaking. Bella clumsily stepped into the cab, and I noticed her lingering there, feeling the seat and wheel. It looked as though she was sniffing too. I am such an idiot! I was leaving traces of myself. Bella started the truck and it rumbled to life. I let her get ahead before I began to follow her. I could outrun that truck on my worst day. I ran on the side of the road following the bulbous truck, watching Bella the entire way. After a little while I began to notice where she was going. Our meadow…I mean _the_ meadow. I wished more than anything she had moved on, and It was clear she hadn't. My greatest fear was realized. I needed a moment to myself to think. Since I knew where she was going, I ran off the path and let her get ahead of me. Even if I sat here for hours, she'd still never beat me. I chuckled lightly, loving Bella's humanity. It made me so angry how willing she was to give it all away…for _me_. The way her cheeks always had a tint of rouge in them, and how cherry red they'd get when she was embarrassed. The memories of her were not good. I knew I couldn't handle this. I'd never be able to stay away from her. Tomorrow I would leave and only come back to check on her every couple of years to make sure she was safe and happy. Yes, every five years I'd come back to Forks or wherever she lives. (I'd hope eventually she'd move somewhere else.) And check on her for as long she lives. And when that sad, awful, horrible day came when she left Earth and her soul went to heaven, I would go to the Volturri and request for them to take my life. I couldn't live in a world where Bella didn't exist. Even if I only saw her every five years. The thought of five years was agonizing me. I realized then, that I had been off the trail for a long time. I didn't know how long, but I knew it had been hours. I ran to the meadow and made it there within minutes. Bella was lying in the sun surrounded by flowers. She looked so lovely, so at peace, so…beautiful. All I could do was stare at her, and that was killing me. I would do anything to go back in time when I could just lay there with her, talking, laughing, doing nothing. Every memory made me smile but was soon followed with agony. Unexpectedly, something caught my attention. An all too familiar scent filled my nostrils. I swelled with fury because I couldn't believe what was happening. It was Victoria. I was so angry with myself for being so distracted. I should have seen this coming miles away. Alice had probably seen this and couldn't get a hold of me because I lost my phone. Victoria was coming to kill Bella. Her thoughts entered my mind.

_Well, I didn't know you were here. Perfect. It will make it that much sweeter when you watch her die_.

I ran. I could finally trace where she was and I ran. I was going to kill her. At any cost, I had to kill Victoria. Then, I saw her fiery red hair blowing in the wind. My anger swelled. I ran at her with everything I had as she just stood there calmly waiting for me. When I reached Victoria, I grabbed one of her limbs. I didn't care which one. I wasn't sure how I was going to kill her on my own. Her body would surly reassemble before I could make a fire. It didn't matter. I would fight her till Alice saw this and had everyone come to help. Victoria screamed as her limb detached. I took pleasure in her misery. She jumped and bit into my torso. I ripped another limb off. She pounced on me, thrusting my body into a warm, sunny patch of Earth. I was in the center of the meadow. Bella looked at me. We looked into each other's eyes. I was given up, there was nothing I could do. But she just stood there. I screamed at her.

"Bella! RUN!" But she just stood there staring. It was as if she thought I was only in her imagination. Her apathy frustrated me so much I couldn't even comprehend what else was happening. Naturally, Victoria took advantage of my weak moment. She tried to rip my arm off, but I wouldn't let her. I couldn't. Not when the reason I was fighting was staring into my eyes. When she saw Victoria, it was then that the fear set in. Victoria's return was more believable than mine. I flipped Victoria over and ripped another limb off. She was in too much pain. I had a momentary advantage. I went for her heard. It came off nice and neatly. I smiled and ripped the finial limb off, leaving her as a stump. Seemingly out of nowhere I saw something I hadn't seen in many years. A large wolf emerged from the thick wood grabbing the torso in its mouth, carrying it away. I watched in amazement, knowing that it was all taken care of. My mind immediately moved to Bella. I knew I should have left at that moment, but I just couldn't. I have been torturing myself for months. Especially in the last twenty-four hours. I slowly walked over to her. She did the same. I had never been more excited, happy, and nervous all at the same time. I wasn't sure how she was going to react. We finally reached each other. I stopped myself a million times a second from touching her. I let her make the first move. Bella reached a hand over my face. The warm touch was electrifying every nerve in my body. She grabbed my face, clutching it tightly. She lightly asked, "Is this real? Are you really here?" I looked deeply into her eyes. "Yes, I'm here."


	6. Chapter Six: Reality

Chapter Six:  
Reality  
POV: Bella

My heart was pounding, yet, I was calm. My last thoughts were circled around Charlie, Renee, and Jacob. But mostly, they were pictures of Edward's face. My mind was clear. I didn't mind dying this way. I knew it would be painful. I winced. The pain would be excruciating. I tried not to think about it.

In that moment, I heard a loud, piercing scream. What happened? There was no way Victoria was hurt. Trees began to fall. There was something happening. The forest began to fall around me, trees falling closer and closer. I couldn't believe my eyes. A blur was hurled into the center of the meadow. When the blur hit the ground, I saw what it was. It had happened. I had completely gone crazy. I couldn't distinguish fantasy from reality. I just starred, I knew he wouldn't be there for long.

"Bella! RUN!" he screamed. I almost laughed. Yeah, like that will help. I continued staring into his eyes. My memory hadn't failed me. He was as perfect as ever, although, I didn't like the look of pain and confusion on his face. I would have taken anything. Abruptly, Victoria had pounced on him. He was still staring at me. I couldn't stare anymore. Was this real? I became so frustrated – I couldn't tell! If Victoria was really here, why would she be fighting nothing? There was no way, absolutely no way Edward was here. Victoria must not really be here. I was still scared.

Edward, or my imagination, ripped her limb off, then, her head. I turned in horror. As the finial limb came off, a giant wolf came across the field. He took Victoria's torso and ran into the forest. Following, were the rest of the wolves taking each a limb and disappearing into the green.

Unable to focus on anything else – despite what just happened – I turned towards Edward. He started walking over to me, and I did the same.

After what seemed like forever, we finally reached each other. I lifted my hand to his face. I had to see if he was real. When my hand reached his face, I was stunned. It was chillingly cold, hard and smooth. Too fast, and probably too hard, I clutched his face. I looked deep into his eyes.

"Is this real? Are you really here?" His eyes were scorching. "Yes, I'm here."

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. I didn't care about his rules. He was just going to have to deal. If this was the last time I saw him, I was going to make it worth it. Unexpectedly, he did the same. I didn't want to let go. I heard him laugh.

"Bella, you can let go. I'm not leaving. I promise."  
"No."  
"So stubborn."

I decided to overlook that. He was really here. Edward was really here with me, and he wasn't leaving. I slowly loosened my arms and moved them up to his face. I clutched it and pulled him toward me. His smile was making me weak at the knees. I was not going to let him do this to me.

"Stop it." He smiled.  
"Stop what?"  
"Dazzling me."  
"I don't think I can. You're just too easy." His tone became serious. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I thought I could handle being away from you, but…" He closed his eyes and dropped his head.  
I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him. "I know." He looked up and there was torture in his eyes. Why couldn't Edward just enjoy the moment? Why did he have to torment himself like this? I had already forgiven him. I understood why he left, although it was insane, stupid, completely off base. I grabbed his face again, and slowly moved my face towards his. He did the same. Out lips met, and lingered. He grabbed my head and pulled me closer, kissing me. It seemed unreal. I became weak at the knees. And that's the last thing I remember before I fainted and fell into his arms.


	7. Chapter Seven: Missing

Chapter Seven:  
Missing  
POV: Edward

She was so…human. It was lovely. As I carried her unconscious through the woods, it made me remember being human. I would give anything to be human again and grow old with Bella. I imagined us sitting on a porch that stretched around the entire house overlooking a lake in a small town with nothing to do but to be together. But that would never happen.

I also imagined if I hadn't been condemned to this hapless existence, I would have never meet Bella. In fact, I'd be dead at seventeen having done nothing of use with my young life. Although I never showed it through my constant pessimism, I amazed myself how much I had accomplished. I can speak in eleven different languages. I've visited almost every country on this planet. I can't even count how many years of education I've had. Although that's more than anyone single human completes in one life time, I was also amazed at what little I've done with my life. Jasper had served in war; saved hundreds, maybe thousands. What was wrong with me? In my first years of this "new life" I killed so many...  
Was I to ever remedy that?

What about Carlisle? He has never bitten a human. Ever. He has only saved them. Me, I've only destroyed lives and the one I'm holding, the one I love more than anything in this world and the next I'm considering taking the life of for my own selfish desire. What a waste of an existence. Sometimes I wish Bella would just stay with Jacob even though the very thought of it repulsed me. She'd be content and she'd eventually move on. I could go off and wait until the day she died an old woman. I'd then go to the **Volturri **and request they take my life. If they refused, I'd cause a scene.

Ahg! The very thought of Bella just being with _him_ disgusted me. He had no knowledge of anything beyond the tip of his nose. I sighed. Who could blame him? He's only been alive for seventeen years. I sighed again. I hated this new bipartisan side of me. If I wasn't so selfish, I'd leave again and let her be with Jacob. But I simply couldn't handle that. I smiled selfishly knowing she couldn't either.

I reached the end of the wood and Bella was still passed out. I looked and found that stupid truck and slipped Bella in the passenger seat, buckled her up and got into the driver seat. After five minutes of driving, I had already become bored with the scenery. I thought I had missed it. I was obviously delusional then entire time.

I drove back to her house and swiftly carried her up to her bedroom. Although Charlie was out of the house I was so used to climbing through the window and it was more fun than taking the stairs. I laid Bella into her bed and sat in the rocking chair across the room. I missed this room. I loved the smell, the feel, the entire atmosphere. I belong with Bella. Wherever she is, I'm there. Whatever she was, I was also. I couldn't fathom anything meaning more to me. All of a sudden, Bella stirred and I was at her bedside before she fully woke. I stroked her face and smiled down at her. Embarrassed that she had passed out, her once pale cheeks turned a fantastic rouge and she turned away, laughing. She turned back and asked, "So, what do we do now?"

"Well," I started "I think I've separated the family enough. It's time to bring them home."

Her eyes brightened. She eagerly agreed, ripped off her covers, and jumped out of bed. She didn't make it far until her body caught up with her mind and she became dizzy and lost balance. Within a split second I was behind her catching her.  
"Bella, maybe you should lie down a little longer."  
"No. I miss Alice and everyone else. Leaving was all your idea. Now we're doing things my way." I couldn't argue with her logic. And anyway I knew the attempt at telling Bella what to do was always in vain.

Much to her dismay, I helped Bella down the stairs maintaining a glacial pace. We sat down at the kitchen table and I handed her the phone.  
"I'll only be a few minutes." I began feeding her Alice's number.  
"Please, Edward I know her number." She was offended. I smiled, backed away, and gestured for her to continue. I could hear the ringing from the phone and then the screeching,  
"BELLA! My God, I was wondering how long it was going to take you and Edward to call. How have you been? I miss you so much…"  
Bella's smile lit up. Although overwhelmed by Alice's constant yapping, she was happy. I walked out of the room and turned on the TV careful not to adjust Charlie's settings, in an attempt to drown out Alice. An hour passed and I decided I needed to intervene. I walked into the kitchen and tapped on Bella's shoulder. She jumped. I couldn't believe it. She had forgotten I was even here! I couldn't help but laugh. I whispered in her ear "You know there are five more left to call."  
"Oh I know, I was just about to speak with Jasper." I rolled my eyes.  
"I'll only be a few minutes."

It had only been three hours till she called the entire family. Only about five minutes of that time was spent talking to Rosalie. Rosalie knew what Bella wanted and she hated her for it.

When Bella got off the phone with Esme, we walked up stairs and nestled in her bed. We just sat there staring at each other until she spoke.  
"Why did you come back?"  
"Bella, I can't live without you. I tried and it obviously didn't work. It was the darkest time in my long existence. I intended to come back, make sure you're safe and happy. After, I would have left. But when I got here and saw your face I knew I couldn't leave again, even if it meant watching from the sidelines, leaving was out of the question. Within a few hours, you were inches away from death. Of course, I couldn't just sit there and watch. I had to come out and kill Victoria. Bella, I was never more terrified in my entire life. At that moment I wanted to be with you, no matter the cost, selfish as that is. I had to stay."  
"Where did you go? What did you do?"  
"Bella, it isn't worth discussing. It was the most stupid thing I've ever done or ever plan to do again. I was miserable. The only thing that kept me away from you is the chance that you might be happy without me…"  
"Edward, stop it. In this moment I've never been happier in my entire life. You can't ever leave me again. My life was a blur. I was only moving because people expected me to. For months I sat and did nothing…" I hated myself.  
"Charlie was going to send me back to my mom's. I need you here." There was silence for what seemed like hours. Then, Bella spoke again.  
"Have you ever heard that Connie Francis song _I Will Wait for You_? I listened to it a lot while you were gone." I knew the song well and once again, the stinging pain of leaving her behind entered my mind.

She could tell I didn't want to talk about this anymore and I don't think she did either. I could see her eyes starting to droop.  
"Bella, go to sleep."  
"No, I'm fine." I laughed.  
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right by your side when you wake up." With that, her eyes were slowly closing, being careful to keep her eyes on me while they were open. Soon she was asleep. I just laid there next to her as the minutes passed by. Soon, they turned into hours. My mind was clear. That is, until, Alice popped into my head.  
_Edward! We're all home! Bring Bella…obviously. HURRY!  
_It had been eight hours and I thought Bella had slept enough. Besides, she'd be madder at me if I didn't wake her up. I lightly brushed her face  
"Bella, dear. They're all home. Would you like to go see them?" She was still in a fog. Then she processed what I had just said.  
"Yes! They're really here? Let's go, why are we still here?" And with that, I threw her on my back, jumped out her window and began running back to my family.


End file.
